Ever since that night back in 2002 when I lost my virginity in a 5-man orgy, and took a penis into my mouth, I have enjoyed giving oral sex. And over time, my growing skillset made me love it even more.

With such a love for giving oral sex, second only to intercourse, you would think that I would be quick to sign up for a website like TheBlowers.com or download a hookup app like Headero since they both cater to those seeking to partake of oral sex. Yet, I am hesitant to involve myself with those or any site/app catering to such.

Before I proceed with explaining the reason for the hesitation, let it be known that said hesitation is not a negative view of TheBlowers, Headero, or any site or app like them. They provide a great pleasure service. The side-eye indicated by the title is based on the behaviors of too many subscribers whose motives are rooted in negativity. Negativity like ageism, colorism, racism, and transphobia. So this is something beyond the website and apps’ control. It is more of a societal and community dysfunction.

Bringing me to the reason for my hesitation. It is like a number of negatively evolving aspects of sex that I have written about over the years. Like I said in a Facebook post that I more so explained when I made the screenshot into an Instagram post, many males have made oral sex more about a power dynamic, instead of a pleasure dynamic.

To explain, healthy-minded oral sex has one of two(2) intentions:

1. Foreplay to intercourse, and;
2. Consolation for being in a physical state that (for short or long-term) makes one unable to have intercourse.

Unfortunately, there is a 3rd intention that is not so healthy-minded. It is self-entitled servitude. That is the intention that has me hesitant to sign up for websites like TheBlowers and apps like Headero.

Over the years, as told in my Thotyssey article, “4 Blowjob Tricks, 5 Rules of BJ Etiquette“, I have had it happen to me, as well as been eyewitness to instances in which guys have took one’s oral skills for granted.

How many times on X (even back when it was called Twitter) have you seen a dick pic with the caption asking for someone to “service their cock”? Or a porn video post with a caption telling you to “watch ____ service _____”? …More times than you can count, I’m sure. And that word “service” pisses me off.

For such guys are using oral sex as a means to not only exude the aforementioned power dynamic with sex, but also put that power dynamic waaaaay before pleasure. And for some, that power dynamic replaces pleasure. The scariest part of that is how much that is the same mindset that incites a rapist. And the proof has been in front of us all along.

There are also negative moments in which oral sex is used as both a consolation and self-entitled servitude. Such as when one uses oral sex as a means to have a sexual relationship with someone their friends and/or family would not approve of for them having any kind of intercourse with. I don’t think I have to go into what is it consolation for and how is it self-entitled servitude. However, if it is, then let me know in the comments.

In any case, an individual adult allowing the prejudice of one or more people to prevent them from pursuing someone they lust (or even love) says a lot about their own lack of character. Thereby lessening their humanity. With that being the case, they are better off being denied your oral prowess. So in due time, their loss will be a more deserving person’s gain.

While apps & websites for oral sex hookups should incite a more discretionary search for a playmate, my experiences with attitudes of entitlement based on one being the porn-endorsed definition of beauty, be it by skin color, body build, and/or penis size makes me weary of creating a profile on oral sex hookup apps. As I’m weary of making a trek to someone’s place and not getting the intercourse that the oral sex often leads to. Such as the intercourse insinuated by posts from TheBlowers.com on Twitter/X. All because the self-entitled servitude makes one thinks it is okay to use someone they perceive as “less than” as a last resort to their getting off.

This attitude of entitlement also leads to scenarios in which the actual person the oral recipient plans to have sex with is right there in front of you. Never making you aware that intercourse with you is not happening. Thereby making you become a slave for both them and their truly intended. Which is a slap in the face to both you and their intended. For in addition to you being treated as unworthy of intercourse (even though your oral skills made it happen), such guys don’t realize how it also says that their prospective sex partner is too lousy at giving oral to get them up.

Assessing all of this, I see sites like TheBlowers.com and apps like Headeros, however well-intended, going to go the same way as Grindr, Scruff, and every other gay hook-up app claiming to be “all-inclusive”. Where the only ones claiming to be satisfied by many encounters through them are those who: 1)fit a porn-endorsed idea of beauty, and 2)are shallow enough to use that as a means to get attention to stroke their ego.

So if I sign up for any such thing, each prospective playmate better be prepared to be asked a barrage of questions to find out if they deserve what I have to give. An act of self-preservation that those with attitudes of entitlement will refuse to comply with, and those with low self-esteem will refuse to do for themselves.