The mindset I have when I have interracial sex in private is simple. It is the same as it would be if I was to be with another Black man. We were 2 people that got together for a physical and spiritual connection. Color is not consciously on my mind. Of course, I know the person is a different color and/or ethnicity than myself. And I don’t squander the gifts of both sight and hearing that I have been blessed with, so I see all skin colors as natural art. Thereby making me see those colors coming together as art enhancing of the original natural art that is sex. And that includes Black men since we might not necessarily share the same hue of brown skin.

By seeing skin color that way, it will not motivate mine or my partner’s actions. Compartmentalizing each other into specific roles based on color/ethnicity. If I discover that it does motivate my sex partner, then he better savor the memory. Because I may give it good enough for him to want more, but he won’t ever get it.

My interracial sex in public is consciously the same. Subconosciously however, I have come to realize that there is an underlying addition what motivates my encounter. For while I still for the most part live by my credo for a sexually permissive space of “Me & my playmate got in the mood to fuck and you just happen to be there“, thereby making voyeurs easy to ignore, there is a small part of me that wants their attention during my interracial sex. A part that I blame our racist society and how it is displayed even more boldly in the gay male community.

Those who have been reading my work for a long time know that I have said that the racism in the gay community is like PRE-Civil Rights Movement America. Take that realization into a sexually permissive space and the interracial encounters of myself and those like me become a means to use sex to give a big “FUCK YOU” to all of the racists in the room.

This is especially the case if I find myself going against the porn-taught roles based on color/ethnicity. Such as my beautiful brown skin bottoming with a white, Latin, or Middle Eastern top. Even more shocking is me bottoming for an Asian top. Such combinations undo the sexualizing of revenge sex for the transgressions & sufferings of our forefathers, as well as the power dynamic associated with race. For how Oscar Wilde says sex is about power, the same can be said about race. Thereby making the sexual encounters going against those porn-taught narratives be solely about pleasure and pleasure through connection. Maybe even more so than the white-on-white/light encounters that the racism of porn and gay cinema has forced-fed our eyes to treat as “the standard”.

For (not all, but) many white-on-white/light encounters (mainly in diverse major cities) and interracial combos endorsed by porn are driven by racism and colorism. With interracial combos, it gets even worse. Since the racism driving many of those are for either the sake of viewer numbers for content creating and/or to escape the charge of being a racist. With their attitude of white/light entitlement leading them to ignore how one encounter with black skin in your long list of collaborators and hook-ups is tokenism, which is still a display of racism.

For these reasons, I am well aware that my intent behind interracial sex (both in private and in public) differ from many. A fact that I am extremely proud of.

Don’t think for a minute that black males are let off the hook. They are not by any means. For while there are a good number of Black males whose motivation behind their interracial sex is just as pure as mine. Sadly, there are many more who use their interracial encounters as a means to validate their sex appeal. Firstly with white males, then light-skinned Latinos, then every other light-complexioned male of color. Thereby making their presence in the space just as problematic and counterproductive, therefore unworthwhile as all of those they court for status. For as I have said before,… the follower of a fool is a bigger fool than the original.

The bottom line of all of this is that interracial sex should not be seen as something different. In fact, the word “interracial” should be done away with altogether. The only reason we have it is because the racism of whites running many adult-oriented businesses have put it into our heads to see being (especially sexually) with someone of a different color/ethnicity as unusual. Different. Abnormal. It is the reason why there are “interracial” categories in adult film awards. Because the typical mediocre white males running these entities are too narrow-minded and insecure to see the reality of how there is beauty beyond their own skin color. Never realizing that narrow-mindedness and insecurity lessens their beauty and those who choose them to join their bodies with.

For to them, I will close by repeating,…

…the follower of a fool is a bigger fool than the original.