According to the Oxford Dictionary, an empath is a person with the ability to perceive the mental or emotional state of another individual.  

With that in mind, imagine how such an ability translates in a sexually permissive space. Initially, you would think that would put their lust on overload. For some, perhaps. However, if you have followed my writings in articles and on social media about behaviors I’ve witnessed in sexually permissive spaces, then that is not the only emotion an empath will pick up on. An empath can also pick up on the mindset & emotions of a person that may be in the space, but do not have the comfort with sexuality to make them act properly. 

I know because I am an empath. 

I discovered my being an empath back in the early 1990s, before knowing what it was called. I worked as a Shipping/Receiving Clerk for a sweater company. My 2 bosses were cousins. One of whom was short, bald, and loud and always reminded me of Mr, Spacely from “The Jetsons”. Well, I had become the clerk that knew where all of the many style numbers were throughout the warehouse. However, any number of days pass the usual 2-day weekend, and I would have to re-familiarize myself with some of the lesser requested styles. Such was the case one day as we were coming back from a 3-day weekend. According to my supervisor, the Mr. Spacely-looking boss wanted a particular style number, and I did not know where it was off the top of my head like I usually do. I was at ease about it because even back then, I knew how my brain worked. So it would not be too long before I found it.  

About 5 minutes after I started looking for that style number, this boss came over. All of the sudden, I was jittery. It was not me being intimidated by this boss because I had no fear of him. In fact, most days, I could have chopped him in the throat on sight. So I was perplexed as to why I was feeling the way I was. After looking in one possible spot and not finding that style number, he said, “I’m nervous. I’m getting very nervous.” He then walked away. As soon as he walked away, with the style number still not found, the jitteriness I was feeling… stopped. Just that fast. That made me hate him even more. Because I knew part of his “nervousness” was from him drinking about 5 cups of coffee within the first 2 hours of him coming in. And by the time this happened, he was probably on Cup #3. 

And for the record, in about a half-hour, I found the style number he wanted. Complete faith in my abilities and zero nervousness while searching for it. That was how I realized that the nervousness I was feeling was not mine, but his. So I tried to have as much distance between him and myself as possible. Because his negative mental state coming near me and undoing my peace of mind felt like a violation. 

So what does this have to do with being in a sexually permissive space, you ask? 

It’s because if you are a sexually liberated person, yet an empath, the negative energy of those people who do not belong can affect your performance. The negative energy of those who don’t properly respect consent; or those whose attire shows they do not belong, such as by wearing outerwear indoors and/o carry bags larger than a fanny-pack; or those voyeurs who linger too long and too closely. If you are an empath that’s bottoming, you might tense up in the presence of such people. And if you’re an empath that’s topping, you might not be able to maintain your erection. Being vers with a preference for bottoming, I must confess that I have definitely experienced the latter. 

Also, to properly diagnose if you are an empath being affected by those negative emotions and mindsets invading your play space, you need to be drug-free and sober from alcohol. For drugs and alcohol too often alter one’s observation of reality, and not for the better. 

Another observation based on personal experience and observation is trying to use poppers as a bottom, or male enhancement pills as a top. While I am not a fan of poppers anyway, if you’re an empath, you might be trying to use them when the issue making you unable to relax is not you at all. It may very well be the presence of the person interrupting your play session. And since huffing is already harmful, it makes it worse by when violators make it for nothing. And with male enhancement pills, same problem. You might overdose thinking the pill is not working when they have in the past. Taking them either moderately or sporadically, and not hindering them working by drinking alcohol. Again, the problem is not you. It’s the invasive person’s negative energy draining your exhibitionist spirit. 

I must admit that I was hesitant to write this article. Because out of sheer jealousy, those who are less sexually free than you might purposely use your discomfort from their social ineptitude against you. By making you part ways with someone you’re with that they also want. And once you leave, they will try to move in. Well, if your playmate is that starved for attention to allow such a person in and/or on their body, SCREW THEM. Make that former playmate’s loss be a real man’s gain. 

Keeping all of this in mind, while it might seem like a hindrance, I believe you should take it as having a better radar than most. For while being an empath might hinder your play, maybe even make you give up a playmate, that same ability to feel people out might draw you to someone worth your time. The person less starved for multiple people’s attention. The person adult enough to solely want yours. 

The reason we seem to get it wrong so often is because we are sensing the decency that is buried deep within their spirit. Forgetting all the trials in their life that might obstruct that decency from being more on their surface. Well, the romantic that I am believes that at some point, one of those you have a good feeling about will have that decency more on the surface. So until then, don’t give too much of your spirit (or your money) too soon.