Only one idiot named Gilad has ever had the nerve to come close to requesting that I “dumb down my sexy” as the title says. And at the time, we were at of all places, the NYC gay bar, The Cock. However, since action speaks louder than words, it is what the actions of certain people have clearly been saying. And not just to me, but also members of one of the communities I belong to.

I have come to notice that the racism in the gay community runs deeper than I thought. It runs so deep that white gay males and their assimilators are, not only telling themselves they are superior to Black men. They are acting schizophrenic. Because of the insecurity born from their false sense of superiority, they are also endlessly competing with Black males. If they were actually superior, competng would not be so necessary. Yet many are threatened by any & every Black male whose exhibitionist spirit seems at risk of outdoing theirs.

I have been living this article for most of my time of being out as a homoromantic bisexual. Looking back, it started when I have said in past articles almost 2 decades ago how I would go to clothing-optional parties and while white & Latin boys would strip down to their underwear or get completely naked, the other black males there would at the most go shirtless. I said that part of the reason I went naked was because I wanted to show that some of us Black males were self-assured enough to come to such a space and show a true exhibitionist spirit.

Fast forward to today, as I strive to exemplify the saying, “with age comes wisdom”, I’m seeing how again racism is not about race, but power. Perhaps now, it is likely to include social residue from the 2020 Lockdown. In which case, folks’ racisms and prejudices were allowed to grow in their minds & souls like the most harmful mold. So while it was always there for white males and their assimilators to project the idea of Black men as creatures to be feared, it has thereby become more obvious as spaces began to reopen that Black men that do not fit the porn-endorsed aggressor image are ones these white males & their cohorts try growing a pair of balls to attempt competing with.

Bringing that competitive mindset into a cruising space, if a medium to dark-complexioned Black man comes into a clothing-optional space scantily-clad, you might witness him not getting as much play as white or light-skinned males wearing the same thing. Instead, the black male coming into the space overdressed in light to heavy outerwear gets action. Why? Because for such white males and their assimilators, the black males wearing their outerwear in such a space has no chance of outdoing the racist white male’s attitude of having a superior exhibitionist spirit. Because over 90% of the time, those black males are there to lower their worth by appeasing racist white/light males’ hunt for BBC(Big Black Cock). Meanwhile, a Black man that strips down like myself is a massive threat to that “overhype of white” they are trying to play up. Even more so when, unlike many of them, that Black man does not require alcohol & substance abuse to strip down or play.

Another way this “competition” manifests itself is by rabid white males & their assimilators limiting what a Black man can be to them. Such as how porn has long shown that to white/light-skinned males, black males are to be aggressive tops part of a black horde gangbanging them. Which to any person of depth, such black males actually invalidate their sex appeal by complying. Hence why I have long never been a fan of any of the big name black males in porn, past or present. Not Bobby Blake. Not Diesel Washington. Not Max Konnor. Not Ryheim Shabazz.

And do not try to throw any of those or any other black performers’ names in the hat because you have seen them bottom. First of all, they are able to do it because I bought up the conversation years ago. In addition, the fact remains that they garnered a name in the industry as a Black top first. With their blackness used to appease the white fetishizing fantasy of sexualizing vengeance for slavery. Unlike myself, who entered the industry to show a self-assured bottom that just happens to be Black. And I didn’t get too far in the industry because why…

It would be an image that would rival the white & light-skinned Latin bottoms at the time. And it is the reason you see the black performers today bottoming in interracial scenes so sporadically.

My feeling is when black males allow their exhibitionist spirit to be either limited or all out silenced to cater to white male insecurities, they only make those white males and their assimilators right in thinking of them as “less than”. For those black males make themselves a disgustingly irrelevant variable to our already lacking representation. And the same can be said about black males who display porn-endorsed racist archetypes.

So basically, it seems that many white males want a Black male like myself to dumb-down their sexiness. For showing my sexual prowess via my looks and/or knowledge at a level that seems equal to what their propaganda claims they have intimidates them. Because it makes it possible for someone of depth to choose my black beauty over their overhyped white.

Well, that’s not going to happen.

Between my coming out at almost 31 years old; to not leaning on alcohol/drugs as a crutch to show my gay sex or exhibitionism; to my maintaining my body to be fit & sexy as I near 55 years old; to the self-assurance I’ve maintained through it all, those white males and their assimilators will just have to be scared that I can (then and now) outdo them in sex appeal.

Perhaps my not caring is why I can age as well as I have. Meanwhile, the typical gay white male and their assimilators age like crap. For listening to the racial prejudice taught to them causes them stress by them competing & avoiding the Black men that are not the porn-endorsed type for fetishizing. And they also get stressed by risking their well-being by chasing the black males who display that porn-endorsed aggression. Hence why they are the target audience for ads on Instagram and in magazines like Get Out! for those specializing in face fillers & Botox injections.

All of this could be avoid if they would instead listen to their natural attraction to beauty, even when it is towards a Black male. Then follow through by pursuing them. Seeing us Black males as beautiful men first, and noticing our color as part of the nature-made work of art we are second.